In Your Name Will I Lift Up My Hands

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for
you in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary and

beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with

the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

 I think of you through the watches of the night.

 Because you are my help, I sing in the

shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you; your right had upholds me."

Ps. 63:1-8

    I love this chapter in Psalms. It was what I read for my time with God today. I try to spend some time each day with my God. I usually read a Psalm. I've been through the Psalms many times, but it seems that each time I read, God shows me something that relates so well to what is happening in my life right now.

    Each day that I read, I look for something that it reveals to me about God, something that I can praise him for. Then I write down that praise in a journal.

God has changed me through that process. 

He has revealed more of himself because I have choosen to look deeply into his word and search for more of who he really is. As I have come to know him more, I've come to understand myself more and my deep need for a loving God.

There is so much in these verses to praise him for,

his power and glory that he at times allows us to see

his love that satisfies my deepest needs

his giving such a sense of security that I can sing in the shadows of uncertainty.

It is a choice I must make - daily.

It's my choice to "remember"

my choice to sing in the shadows

my choice to cling. 

Oh, how I wish that it was always so easy to do as it is to write that down.

There are times when I forget God

times when my voice can't sing

and times when it feels like my grip is slipping.

I'm so thankful that my God's love for me or his ability to forgive isn't determined by anything of myself.

It's all him,

God alone.

He alone is worthy.

The Brave Knight

Once upon a time, in the land of the brat, there lived a brave Knight and his young Lady. (ok, maybe not so young) They planned and prepared with excitement as they anticipated their next journey. For this adventure, they were traveling to the Governor's Park. So they loaded their portable castle with all of the necessary accoutrements: the ax, the portable lantern and flame, vessels of ale (ok, it was really water) and the butchered sow. (pork patties)

They arrived in the land known for its badgers and Cornish pasties.  It was where the Lands End. There they were met with the King and Queen and other Knights and their Ladies. They enjoyed an evening of great food and merriment.

As the starlit sky sparkled like jewels, they each headed out to their own castles. They were weary from their day of travels.

But then....

        sometime during the night...

               a noise was heard by the Lady.

She listened carefully, trying to discern where the noise was coming from.
Was it from without?
One of the masked bandits known to wander the forests taking from the wealthy?

No!! It was from within!

Not wanting to disturb her sleeping Knight, she laid still hoping that whatever beast it was would find it's own way out.
Suddenly, she felt a slight breeze along her face and she thought to herself,
"There should be no wind inside this castle!"

She quietly reached for and lit her lantern. That's when she saw it!
A bat!! Flying back and forth trying to escape the castle walls. She darkened the light.

Dale!! (oops)

"My Knight, my Knight!! There is a bat in here!" she whispered loudly caring not that he had a long journey at the break of day.

"What?" the Knight asked sleepily.

The Lady repeated, "There is a bat in here!"

The Knight quickly arose gathering his wits and anything else that might help. He lit the lantern while the Lady drew the curtains around her raised sleeping platform. The entire castle was searched from tower to dungeon, but no bat was found. He turned off the lantern and sat guard near his Lady so that no harm would befall her.
Long into the night he waited and listed, but no more was the bat heard or seen.

The next day after the brave Knight continued on his journey, the King and another Knight of the Rectangular Table, searched the castle to no avail. Using their trained hands they repaired the castle for the Lady where they thought the walls may have been breached.

The Lady missed her brave Knight in shining armour. She loved him so and prayed for safety on his journey. She will always remember him as he sat guard protecting her during that long night.

Blessings

For many of us this past month has been of time of good-byes and transitions. From the yearly good-byes to our graduates, and this year there were many, to the sudden and final good-byes of 2 dear friends.

There are times of transitions as friends deal with grief. And for others it means dealing with serious health issues. For us, it is also a time of re-evaluating many things: jobs, ministries, and relationships. As the thunder peals loudly outside and the clouds look ominous, it seems to fit with the heaviness I at times feel in my heart.

There is a new song that I heard recently which brought me to tears as I was driving. I know that God's ways are so beyond what I can comprehend, and this song is a touching reminder of just that.

Blessings
by Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

My King and my God

I have been reading "The Hawk and the Dove" by Penelope Wilcock. Most of the story takes place in the 1300's at a monastery. They are stories of the men who have chosen to live the monastic life and of how God worked in and through them.  What I read this week fits so well with the fact that this is Holy Week.  This is the story of Brother Francis as he is broken before his abbot, Peregrine.
Francis, in a vision hears ...

 'someone weeping...sobbing...groaning. Father, there is someone in such trouble out there. I want to go and see!'   His eyes widened. He was really seeing it.

'Go on then.'  It seemed so real that Father Peregrine felt as curious as Francis did....

'It's a garden with shrubs and trees, dark shapes. I can smell the perfume of the flowers. And someone is crying in the darkness in bitter distress. I can't find him. I'm searching for him, looking everywhere. Wait- there, under the trees. A man, crouching, bowed down to the ground. Oh, the loneliness of him. He's broken. He's-he's afraid. I've never seen a man in such despair...I must go and...oh, God, it's Jesus!

Out here, all alone. Jesus...he was out here even before I came out. He was out here all the time, in the lonely place where abandonment and fear belong. He has always been here. I think it...it is Gethsemane.'

'What are you going to do?' asked Peregrine in fascination. Brother Francis looked at him incredulously.

'Do? Stay with him, of course. I can't leave him alone in this distress. I couldn't just abandon him. Jesus, my heart, my love...his courage is the hearth for the night. As long as he is here, the darkness is home....

'The Christ you saw,' said Peregrine quietly, 'that is the Christ I love. All his life he lived pressed on every side by human need, and he met the weariness and testing of it with a patience and humility that silences me, shames me for what I am. But in Gethsemane, I see Jesus crumble, sobbing in loneliness and fear, crushed to the ground, pleading for a way out, and there was none. I cling to that vision, as you will. That sweating, terrified, abandoned man; that is my King, my God. Such courage as I have comes from the weeping of that broken man.'

They went into the chapel in silence...

 'How did you do it?' Father Peregrine prayed in silent wonder... How did you lift the man out of that torturing agony of grief and fear just by consenting to bear the same torture, the same lonely agony? Suffering God, your grace mystifies me. You become weak to redeem me in my weakness. Your face, agonized, smeared with dust and sweat and blood and spit, must become the icon of my secret life with you. The tears that scald my eyes run into your mouth. The sweat of my fear glistens on your body. The wounds with which life has maimed me show livid on your back, your hands, your feet. The peace you win me by such a dear and bloody means defeats my reason. Lift me up into the power of your cross, blessed Lord. May the tears that run into your mouth scald my eyes. May the sweat that glistens on your body dignify my fear. May the blood that drips from your hands nourish my life.' "

⁴ Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth. 

Isaiah 53:4-7

A Very Good Week

After waving good-bye from the front porch, Dale and I went back into the house and sat together on the couch.

"It's so quiet." I whispered.

We sat in silence for a while looking at the toys which lay scattered on the floor.

We had just enjoyed a wonderful week with family. Zach and Isaac -his drummer- came late Sunday night. They were on a short music tour from Nashville to parts in the Midwest.

On Monday Josh, Lauren and the girls - Ruth and Anna
 got here after their long drive from Montana.
Aside from Skype calls, we hadn't seen them since August. It was so good to be together again and to get reacquainted with our grand-daughters.
 I was happy to feed them breakfast giving Lauren and Josh the rare opportunity to both sleep in.

Ruth enjoyed sleeping in a borrowed little tent.

It was fun being able to be Nana for the week.

We colored,

baked,

 planted,

 explored,

swam,

napped and at one point 5 of us chased each other around our kitchen island.

We went to hear Zach play at a local coffeehouse.

He wasn't feeling very well. He had come down with the cold, sinus stuff that so many around here are getting.

But, we always enjoy hearing him play.

The time went too quickly.

There were not enough books read.

Not enough hugs.

Not enough time to play.

 I've got to make up for lost time. 

And have enough to last until we see them again.

We're not sure when that will be, but I know

that it will not be soon enough. 

And the house is still too quiet.

Catching up, again!

Apparently 3 months have passed since I've written on here. I think that basically I've tried to ignore my blog because I don't like how it looks and just haven't taken the time to fix it. I don't know enough about doing it without taking a huge amount of my time. So... for now, it is what it is.

I wanted to post a few pictures from the Fall and Holidays. In October we drove down to visit Zach & Christina in Nashville. We stopped at the Silly Goose, where Zach works and had a delicious lunch. We also visited Christina at Vanderbilt University where she works. While there, we helped them as they were working on the felt covers for 100 of Zach's new music cds.








At the Silly Goose, we had a smoked salmon sandwich with goat cheese, caramelized onion and arugula on marble rye bread. It was amazing. A Waldorf salad with grapes, bacon, blue gouda and buttermilk herb dressing was also amazing. Loved them both!




Then Zach also recommended their ice cream sampler. It was Lavendar Vanilla, Chocolate Nutella and Honey Beet. Whoever heard of beet ice cream? It was oh, so yummy!

Vanderbilt University

Of, course you can't go to Nashville without enjoying some live music somewhere. So we headed to the Ugly Mug one of the nights. It's a coffee shop in East Nashville close to where Zach works and lives. We also went to Jackson's for a lunch and then to Sweet Ce Ce's for dessert. It's actually a frozen yogurt buffet. You pick the type of yogurt you want and then you get to put on whatever and how much ever you want of toppings. You pay according to how much it weighs. I covered mine with fresh fruit and chocolate. Ok, so just because it's yogurt doesn't mean that it's low-cal.

Nashville has a wonderful Farmer's Market where we picked up a few Fall items.







It was the first time that we had been to Christina and Zach's apartment since they moved there in September. I always love to see how they decorate and make the place their home. I love what they did on one of their walls with pages from old books.



Pretty cool, huh?
Well, there's October. There must be a part 2 coming for this entry. Hopefully soon.

Thanks for reading.

I'll be back.

I promise.

126 Years

Last night we went out to celebrate our anniversary. But, not just ours, my parent's and my brother & wife's anniversary also. Together we have 126 years of marriage!
We started the evening by going to a local marsh where a new tower was built overlooking the area. It's only 80 ft. up, so it was an easy climb. We took a few pictures up on top. I almost lost my camera over the edge. I had set it up for taking the picture with the timer and forgot that it was looped around my wrist. As I pulled my hand away I almost sent my camera a long ways down the stairs. Thankfully I realized what was happening before it was sent sailing.

From there we went out to eat. Dale and I split a walleye sandwich. It was really quite large and tasty. We also had sour cream and chives French fries. Nothing fancy, but nice.

Then it was to my parent's house for dessert and a few games of Jocker. We regularly play this game. It is fun game where it is men vs. women. We - the fairer sex - won two games rather handily. Wohoo!! We always have fun together playing that.

Tonight, Dale and I went to an Italian place about 30 minutes away and had a wonderful dinner together. He has some kind of steak and I had grilled shrimp over angel hair pasta. Both were delicious.

Both of us have such a wonderful example set by our parents. My parents just celebrated 59 years and Dale's parents just celebrated 64! That is such a wonderful heritage for us and our kids to have. We are so thankful for them. They have lived life before us and shown how to trust God through difficult times.

Tonight we reminisced about our wedding day so many years ago. I wish that cameras were as frequently used then as they are now. There are things that neither of us could remember clearly. As I look back, we seemed so young - and so in love, excited about what lay ahead for us. And now, we are no longer young - but are even more in love, still excited about what is ahead for us. We continue to learn about each other and how we can encourage and meet each other's needs. It is something that we need to be working on and striving for each day. But, it needs to be intentional or else I find that I take for granted the amazing man that God has placed in my life. I am so thankful for Dale. He is the perfect man for me and I am honored to be his wife and live this life with him. He is a man who loves God and strives to live in a way that will glorify him.
He is my friend, my encourager and the one who I hope I have many more years with here on this earth.

Happy Anniversary, honey!

"Watch This!"

I love the colors of Fall, the crisp morning air, a blazing fire in the fireplace in the evening, fresh apples and the smell of anything baked with pumpkin and spices.
The colors of nature in this season: the oranges, yellows, reds call to something deep within me that I don't fully understand. I have been known to pull to the side of the road to just sit and soak in the beauty of it. That in itself sort of surprises me, because I don't like orange. I don't think that I even own anything that is orange.

But, I do have a creator God who will take colors from his palette, double load his brush, step back and say, "Watch this! I hope you love it."
Then he paints a landscape that takes my breath away.

Maybe that's why I struggle at times in the Fall. The season that makes me want to pause and dwell in the creative genius of God is also the season where my schedule picks up quickly. Even though I'm back at it, inwardly I find myself fighting it. I'm not ready for all that this season brings.
So, maybe this blog entry is really for my benefit alone. He is reminding me of his continual presence and of the way he blesses me by showing a smidgen of his power for my eyes to behold while here in my temporary home.

Psalm 104:32 says, " May the glory of the LORD endure forever; may the LORD rejoice in his works - who looks at the earth and it trembles, who touches the mountains and they smoke."


Kidney stone - "Trust me"
Unemployment - "Trust me"
Unsettled heart - "Trust me"